'I wouldn't change a single day of fostering a child with a disability'

Being a foster carer is a bumpy journey, with many twists and turns along the way, a challenge on a daily basis. To foster a child with a disability is no different. But it has been one of the best things I’ve done.

Having a nursing background has helped with meeting medical needs, knowing how to conduct myself in health meetings and the hospital stays; but he is not my patient he’s a child like any other that comes through my door, needing love, stability and attention.

From zombie-like state to melted heart

I find myself after a week of medical appointments and being woken every day in the early hours in a zombie-like state (a regular for foster carers of little ones). But one  cheeky grin or clap of his chubby hands brings a smile and a melted heart! These are all the steps doctors said we would never meet!

Milestones for children with disabilities are different from other children but just as exciting, if not more. The small things to you are massive to me - a smile, a chuckle, a clap of hands at stages where you might expect walking or talking maybe, brings tears to my eyes.

Although he is unable to communicate verbally, oh boy he does with body language! A small flick of the eyes or a blown kiss says ‘I’m happy’ and he’s learnt to save these for the ladies (such a charmer!). Now against all odds he communicates with some sign language, to say stop or finished, thank you and that’s fun. Now others can also know his wants!

It saddens me when others find it difficult to know how to be around a child with a disability. Sometimes, as a foster carer, I find myself reminding even social workers to see a child first not a disability! If people took a little time to get to know my child their lives would be so much more enriched.

My child can try and do everything

I don't see limitations, disability or not. I believe in inclusion - my child can try and do everything, maybe in a different way but those obstacles can be looked at as we hit them. It may mean we don’t go over them but we find a way around or under them! For example, I love the fact that we are accessing a mainstream playgroup where he enjoys everything. What an experience for him and also those there. I find myself looking forward to picking him up to see and hear all that he’s done or been up to that day!

The newest, and my most favourite stage, is when I hold him in my arms and he strokes or taps my back! It may not sound that much but it means soooo much to me - it’s that touch of 'I love you' even though he can’t say the words. Wow, what a feeling of pride that makes me want to burst.

I wouldn't change a single day of fostering a child with a disability.  The challenges of fostering are made a little brighter every day when I get up to his little smile!

The Fostering Network brings together everyone who is involved in the lives of fostered children and young people to lead, inspire, motivate and support them to make foster care better. To support our work visit www.fostering.net/donate or to donate £10 text FOST37 £10 to 7007