‘The world is a scary place and siblings need each other’
Roseanne, Beverley and Katherine spent a year in foster care, but unlike some fostered siblings they weren’t separated. More than two decades later, the three sisters explain the hugely positive impact being fostered together has had on them throughout their lives, and why it’s vital siblings must remain together in foster care.
Beverley, Roseanne and Katherine were three, five and six years old when they were suddenly placed into foster care. They describe shaking with fear as they were driven to their foster carer, Sandy’s, home one evening 25 years ago. Fortunately, Sandy had enough space to look after the three sisters for the year they were in her care, and they were able to seek comfort from each other at a time of significant upheaval. They spent a year there, with weekly visits from their mother, before returning home.
Where possible, it’s vital sibling groups are kept together when they go into foster care. However, there’s now an estimated shortage of 7,200 foster carers in the UK, meaning it’s becoming more difficult to do so.
The three sisters have shared their experience of being taken into care as a three, describing how being kept together not only made the transition a whole lot easier, but cemented their sibling bond which remains strong in their adult life.
They’ve also told of the emotional moment they were reunited with Sandy more than two decades later, who helped them fill in the gaps in their memories of foster care from all those years ago.
The warmest welcome
The sisters say they were initially terrified when they were on their way to Sandy’s home, however they fondly remember receiving the warmest welcome, and say they now only have good memories of their time in her care. They recall finding comfort in being fostered alongside their siblings, and staying close in their new home meant the feeling of being lost and confused wasn’t as intense.
Roseanne said: ‘We had that comfort from each other, although we were very scared as we didn’t know what was coming next. The fact that we were together made things easier for us to get through it and learn together.’
Katherine added that being separated would have caused further trauma at an already extremely difficult time: ‘If you can have your sibling with you, you’re not alone and can be there for each other. We wouldn’t be where we are today for sure [if we had been separated].’
The benefits of being fostered together didn’t stop as soon as they left Sandy’s home – in fact the rewards have continued into their adult lives. Having a similar fostering story means they have been able to talk freely to each other about their shared experience, helping to support their mental health.
Beverley said: ‘Had we not had the same experience of the same foster carer, and been able to stay so strong as sisters, we may not have had such freedom of discussing our thoughts, feelings and emotions of the situation growing up.
‘Having bottled up this emotion over the years would have had devastating effects on our mental health. Speaking to each other meant we had our feelings and thoughts validated through each other.’
Roseanne added: ‘It meant we could talk freely to each other about our memories as a child. If we were not kept together in care, I think it would have been a different story altogether.’
A special reunion
Being so young when they went into care, the sisters inevitably had gaps in their memory and unanswered questions regarding their experience, including why and when they left foster care. They made the decision to reconnect with Sandy and meet with her 24 years after they left her home, in the hope she could help piece together some missing parts of the puzzle.
Sandy was just as excited to meet with the siblings as they were to see her again after all those years, and she helped them recall some key moments while they were in her care. Sandy also shared with them how rare it was for siblings, especially three, to be kept together.
Now, the sisters want to raise awareness of how important it is that siblings are kept together when being fostered. They encourage people to consider fostering, so more children and young people in care have a similar experience to them.
‘The world is a scary place and siblings need that comfort from each other through all the tough times. We believe it’s not being separated from the parents, but being
separated from the siblings that will cause more damage’, Roseanne, Beverley and Katherine.
If you’d like to find out more about becoming a foster carer, visit allaboutfostering.net
