Marking a decade of togetherness

I came up with the idea of the group when I was supporting a family who had always fostered teenage girls. They had a young daughter and as she was growing up they chose to foster a younger girl for their next placement - feeling their daughter might better relate to the same age group as herself. It soon became apparent, however, that their daughter felt uncomfortable hearing about some of the issues her foster sister had faced. It then dawned on me that a lot of children of foster carers must be experiencing the same thing.

Following conversations with the daughter I created a group where sons and daughters of foster carers could share their experiences with each other and also with adults. On the second meeting of the group the children were asked what it should be called. We eventually agreed on Kids for Kids i.e. Sons and daughters of foster carers, supporting children in care. It quickly got abbreviated to K4K. 

These children are amazing because they share their parents, their house and their belongings with the children they foster and their role is so important in ensuring the success of a fostering placement. Their voice is important to us and the group enables them to tell us what they enjoy about fostering and what they find challenging. 

The group is aimed at those aged between 6 and 16 but attended mainly by 10 to 14-year-olds. We usually get around 20 children but for big trips and the Christmas lunch we get more than 30. Some older teenagers also help run sessions.

Making friends and having fun

It has many benefits for the kids. It allows them to share experiences with others in a similar situation and helps them realise they are not alone in facing challenges. They tell me it is important to meet other children who understand them and they really welcome the opportunity to make new friends.

We ask the children what they want to do, so that we can keep the activities relevent and engagiong and we have had some tremendous days out as a result. We’ve visited museums, nature reserves and attractions including a life-size replica village teaching about road, rail and water safety. We’ve also raised money for The Fostering Network at Foster Walk which was great fun and the children have also helped us compile consultations and been part of staff interviews.

To celebrate the 10th anniversary we wrote to Blue Peter about the group’s big day and we received a cloth Blue Peter badge which is now framed in the office. We also had a tree planting ceremony and we buried a time capsule containing items the children created such as a film about living in a foster family; a poem about fostering and a CD of music they composed.

We are extremely proud to be one of the first places in the country to set up a group specifically for the sons and daughters of foster carers and we are delighted it has lasted so long.

I believe that every authority should have a group for the sons and daughters of foster carer, because their voice is very important.