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Attachment

Attachment refers to the special bond and the lasting relationships that young children form with one or more adults. Attachment is about the child’s sense of security and safety when in the company of a particular adult. All children and young people in foster care are likely to experience some attachment issues as they are separated from their birth families. 

 

Young children are born with an instinct to seek out and form attachments with their caregivers. This helps them receive comfort and protection. They might do this through behaviour such as crying, suckling, smiling, or clinging to the person caring for them. These actions are designed to make the caregiver react, so they will feel drawn to responding to the child and investing in them physically and emotionally.  

 

Children who experience this attachment are likely to grow up feeling safe, secure, and happy to explore and emotionally develop. The security of a strong bond or attachment helps the child to build trust in those around them and to form new relationships with confidence. 

 

Understanding attachment is very important for foster carers who want to know how to respond sensitively and appropriately to the child in their care.

Types of attachment

Children react in different ways to emotional distress. The way they react to these situations can be used to categorise attachment security in a relationship.

There are different types of attachment. It’s not that any one of these is ‘right’, but they represent the ways that children change their behaviour to fit the type of care that they are receiving – they're like coping mechanisms.

Secure

This is when the child communicates their need for reassurance and security because they expect the attachment figure (caregiver) to respond appropriately. In other words, the child and caregiver are ‘in tune’ with one another. 

Avoidant 

This is when a child doesn’t communicate their need for comfort because they’ve learnt that the attachment figure (caregiver) is unlikely to respond appropriately. The child may downplay distress and try not to provoke the caregiver. It can sometimes appear as self-sufficiency, but emotionally the child could be feeling insecure.

Ambivalent 

This is when the caregiver has been inconsistent in their response, so the child is anxious about how the adult will respond. So, the child may amplify their distress or, alternatively, withdraw and show indifference.

Disorganised 

This is when the child has experienced the attachment figure as threatening, or perhaps even a source of danger. They may be feeling overwhelmed and have felt severe distress for long periods of time, leading them not to have a clear strategy for dealing with their emotions.

Signs that a child may have attachment issues

Attachment issues often emerge as a pattern of behaviour over time, particularly during moments of stress or discovery. This pattern might include:

  • being fearful of or avoiding a caregiver
  • becoming extremely distressed when their caregiver leaves them, even for a short amount of time
  • rejecting their caregiver’s efforts to calm, soothe, and connect with them
  • not seeming to notice or care when their caregiver leaves the room or when they return
  • being non-responsive to their caregiver
  • seeming to be depressed or angry
  • not being interested in playing with toys or exploring their environment
  • struggling to concentrate or constantly fidgeting or moving. 

 

What foster carers can do

There are some key things foster carers can do to welcome children and young people into the family and build attachments:

  • Understand the impact of attachment on children and young people’s development from birth to adolescence.
     

Recognise that:

  • - if a child or young person does not show obvious feelings or behaviour at separation, it does not mean that the child does not feel anything.
  • - some children and young people, because of their early experiences, may have very unpredictable and sometimes self-defeating strategies for getting help.
  • - what children and young people learn from their early experiences may be very difficult to change regardless of the carer’s skill, effort and commitment.
  • - even when children and young people have been abused, they will have intense feelings towards their attachment figures and may still want to turn to them for comfort.
  • Establishing boundaries can help a children feel safe.
  • Provide routines and consistency to help children to know what responses they will get from their caregivers.
  • Be empathetic and child-focused, looking beneath the child’s behaviour to see the emotional needs driving their actions.
  • Establish trust, letting the child know they are loved and taken care of.
  • Be committed to providing the child a healthy and balanced lifestyle.  

 

The importance of supervision and support

Challenging, irrational and rejecting behaviours can confuse and demoralise even the most experienced foster carer. Looking at the child’s behaviour from an attachment viewpoint can help foster carers find alternative explanations, make sense of difficult situations, have empathy with the child, and develop parenting strategies that can reduce a child’s distress. 

Supervision and support from the fostering service, and any other professionals involved, can help foster carers stand back from the day-to-day events and take an objective viewpoint. It may then be possible to track progress and identify where things need to be developed further. It can also assist foster carers in managing their own feelings and identify any need for additional support in relation to themselves.

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